Another Hard Decision.

After a lot of thought about this I have decided to put my precious Twinkle up for sale as well. I will get pictures and post them of her. I have thought long and hard about this for about a week and beyond just my wanting her I cannot think of a single reason why I shouldn't sell her right now. I do not need the extra work, I don't really need the milk as I have Priss and Joie. I don't need an extra mouth to feed and she's a good doe. I am keeping her mom, her half sister, and her daughter. As much as it hurts I believe this is the right decision, right now since I am opting to have the surgery to have the nodule out. I am going to miss that pretty little girl. She is so sweet and really is a lovely First Freshener. She reminds me of a little gazelle she is so dairy. I also see improvement in her over her mom who I love dearly and can't part with. It is with a very heavy heart that I am going to put her out there with a lot of prayer that someone who will treasure her like I do will see her and want her. Tomorrow after I get pictures I will officially post CBF Ent's Twinkle Lil' Star for sale.

Bittersweet Day

Why is it on the day that we should feel ecstatic that I feel overwhelmed, sad, stressed, tired....everything BUT ecstatic? Thru this whole experience we have felt the Overwhelming peace of God. I have known He is taking care of us and yet, today, the day that is supposed to be our last day of treatment I am sitting here wondering.....is it really over? I mean I know it is not over - we have diagnostics every three months or so and labs monthly for the next year. I still have to go in about my Thyroid nodule. I am feeling like the world is a rough place to be right now. I feel like our future is really up in the air - are we on the right path, is God switching our path and letting us know thru this series of events? I don't know. I broke down crying on the way home because I look at my daughter and she looks so small. She looks like a child again and not my feisty teen. She has been thru the medical ringer so to speak and she doesn't want to see the inside of the hospital ever again but has no choice (I know exactly how she feels right now as I face my own giants.)I think the only thing holding me together right now is knowing WHO is carrying us thru this all.
If I had to walk right now - I'd fall down in a pathetic heap. I'm clinging and that is all I can do right now.

Mr. Suave got shaved.

This coming weekend is the Quad show. I'm not doing near as much showing as I'd like but Mr. Storm is going to be there for all 4 shows. We'd sure like to get a few good wins on this boy. So, I shaved him. He looks soooooo different without his hair.


Standing pretty for the camara. I hope he does well. I will also be taking little Kokoro Kiseki (Alyssa's doe) to the show as well as Ammi and Pepper. I'll probably throw the two does for sale in as well just for good measure. We will see what happens. I don't know how big the show is but I just found out Lost Valley herd is coming over from TX for the show. Should be a fun (work filled) week getting ready!!!!

Update for week of April 27

This week we are going to have several things going on. Monday and Thursday are blood draws and on Tuesday we have Alyssa is having her Vincristine administered. This is the one that makes her hurt so bad but thankfully we know what helps her feel better so we will take her Oxycodone with us on Tuesday. It will be so nice to be done with all of this. Alyssa says she is getting a metallic taste in her mouth now from the treatment. Most food doesn't taste good to her. It is soooo hard to get her to eat because so many things taste funny.
Today was Nik's birthday and her is saving all his birthday cash for a Nintendo DSi.
We celebrated at home so as not to overdo Alyssa's energy levels. Poor Nik wanted to go to Red Robin and to a movie! But we will put that off. Thankfully with the icky stuff (blood draws, chemo treatments, CT scans etc.) there are some good stuff scattered in - we just found out the Make a Wish Foundation is coming over on Wed to talk to Alyssa about her WISH. Then on the 16th of May there is a foundation that pays for the UNM peds Oncology kids to go to Cliff's Amusement Park. That will be so much fun.
Well, I guess I will sign off for now - please pray for the Vincristine appt to go smoothly and for the blood draws to go well (no TPA appts etc.!!!)
Nothing new on the goat front except I shaved the buck - I'll do that as a separate post.

HOME again!

After a little more that 48 hours in the hospital we are home again. It was pretty much like the last two times. They began the chemo - several hours after finishing she got sick and then once the anti nausea drugs kicked in she was out like a light - I'm not used to that much quiet for that long - it was almost un- nerving but I ended up reading and beading. It was nice. Once she started to wake up she was back on the chemo drugs. She slept thru the night and was pretty bright eyed this morning. Dr. Heideman thought she looked well enough to go home and as soon as everything was loaded in the car it was off to home for us. We've been home for about 4 hours now. Feels so good to be here. I had to cry because the realization that this was probably our last hospitalization for chemo is beginning to set in. It all kind of seems like a bad dream (bad enough to make me really have a bad dream our first night in the hospital that all 3 of my kids had Lymphoma - that is a nightmare!!!!!) I am exhausted tired from lack of sleep tuesday night but i'm going to bed way early tonight. This weekend is my son's birthday and I'd like to at least not be cranky and tired for that!!!! LOL. As usual we have been well taken care of thanks to the amazing organization skills of Linda and the kindness of our friends and family.
I heard too that two more of Storm's kids have been born (if this is a repeat - forgive - sometimes I forget that I've already posted something) , doe/buck twins. I cannot wait to go out to Camino Allegre and take pics for our progeny page that we are planning for the website and the herdbook.
Well, that's about all I have tonight. Thank you all for your prayers and support. Thank you Martins again for the wonderful tacos, The Valentino's for the wonderful pasta and salad. and Kim and Joe for the Pot Pie and canteloup - YUMMY!!!! Also the Goldsmith's for the ice cream. you all are just awesome!

I Feel Like Crying.

Here we are, back at UNMH, presumably for our last treatment. We've been doing
Chemo since around 3:30pm (they decided that if we start earlier we might get to go home earlier - I agree!!!) Alyssa and I were changed into our jammies just relaxing and hanging out
I'm beading and Aly is watching NCIS. I had just hung up the phone from talking to my family and saying goodnight. In walks in admitting and they want us to pay a $150 copay. ARE THEY KIDDING? At 9pm? IN my jammies just before Alyssa is going to get sick from the chemo (usually 3 hours after the last drug is administered though we started early tonight.) Talk about catching someone unawares. I mean, this is our 4th admission and they've never ever done this before so why now and why this late at night (turns out admitting is open 24/7) I guess they've changed policies and they are being asked to make sure folks pay their copays when they check in - hence the episode leading me to be escorted down to admitting at 9:30 at night. It's not that it that big of a deal but I knew these things were coming and I guess it caught me off guard. After the stress of the day - I just feel like crying. I just want to be here with my precious daughter to help her through these rough spots......not running around UNMH late at night paying bills. GRRRRRRR!!!
On a more positive note - this is our last treatment, Alyssa got the Suite (the Princess is getting the royal treatment) You should see this room - It's HUGE. It's got two windows and two extra beds in it. Very roomy...apparently this is the room the kids request (hm. no one told us that we could request a room!) Anyway. We also ran into K. Yep he's here again (every week are his treatments) he updated us on his lung surgery (the last time we were here he was coming out of surgery) and it turns out the nodules were nothing more than some scar tissue (praise GOD!!!!)
and he only has 5 more treatments after this one because his last evaluations showed a 90% or more reduction in cancer cells (another Praise!!!!!) I am Thanking our Father for answered prayer for K. I also heard that M is doing pretty good as well. GOOD NEWS!!!
Well, we are going to try to hit the hay soon and hope the anti-nausea drugs keep the nausea at bay and we can get some sleep!
Please pray for our friends the A family - their daughter is going to have to go back to Ohio for another "reconstruction" and to help her be better able to care for herself. It apparently is going to be a MAJOR surgery for this little 5 year old - they will have to spend about 2 months in Ohio for the surgery and recovery. i know this will be hard on the family and on this precious little one. Please pray for them all. Also, they have a young pregnant goat who is having some problems and they are very worried about their little one. This a very beloved family pet. (all of their animals are of cours - like ours!) Please pray they are able to find out what is wrong with their doe and that she will be fine and deliver her babies safely in one month.....
thank you all for letting me unload. Just had to get that off my chest.

CBF TD "Daredevil" is Sold

This handsome little man whose name is temporarily "daredevil" is sold. We are so happy is going to be a herdsire and help put little milkers on the ground in a new herd. Thank you so much LS for buying this beautiful, wonderful little man!!!!
I cannot wait to see what he does for your little herd.